The Top 10 Least Craziest Shit People Say About Tommy

Tommy went on Letterman last night in his last desperate attempt to get people to actually pay money to see that movie about Nazis and poodle hair. Tommy and his alien slaves probably decided it would be a good idea to make fun of himself with Letterman’s top 10 list of the “Craziest Things” people say about him on the interwebs. This list was obviously written by a group of thetans, because these are the least craziest things I’ve read about Tommy on the internets. Here’s the sanitized Top 10:

The top 10:
10. I sleep upside-down suspended in a special bat – like harness.
9. During the filming of Days of Thunder, on a dare, I ate a tire.
8. I still wear those underpants from Risky Business.
7. My real name is Tom Blagojevich.
6. I once Heimliched a koala.
5. Once a month, I take the Universal tour naked.
4. I believe all emotional and psychological disorders can be cured with Vicks Vapo Rub.
3. I’m a power mad ego maniac who’s completely insulated from reality – oh wait, that’s Letterman.
2. After jumping on her couch, Oprah hammer-locked me until I coughed blood.
1. I keep a cell phone in my pants so I can tell friends to call my Disney.

Isn’t this totally the G-rated Disney princess version? If they want the most fucked up things written about his crazy ass, then they should feast their eyes on the future reader comments for this post. There’s your fucking Top 100 list! I can guarantee you.

And if Tommy’s trying to not look like a complete fruit cake with lunatic icing on top, then he should probably not wear THAT in public.

Below is Crazy Brains outside of Regis & Kelly this morning.