Happy Belated Birthday, Little Adolf Hitler!

December 17, 2008 / Posted by:

A few days ago, Dlisted reader Reanna sent me this shit, but I didn’t do it because white supremacists give me the roids. But a ton of you whores sent me this messed up story, so here it is by popular demand for you to discuss. You can finally use all those Nazi puns you’ve been saving up!

Over in Easton, PA, a ShopRite has hurt the feelings of a couple of white supremacists. Heath and Deborah Campbell ordered a birthday cake for their 3-year-old son’s party, but ShopRite refused to decorate the cake, because the little boy’s name is Adolf Hitler Campbell.

Adolf isn’t the only poor kid in the family with a fucked up name worthy of a visit from Child Protective Services. Adolf has a sister named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and another sibling who goes by Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell.

OH HEIL NO! Nazi pun! Hooray!

ShopRite said they would not inscribe a birthday greeting to Adolf Hitler. They agreed to make the cake for the family and let them write whatever they want themselves.

Mama Nazi told LeighValleyLive, “ShopRite can’t even make a cake for a 3-year-old. That’s sad.”

This bitch has fish caca for brains. I guess that’s what happens when you suck too much gas fumes out of random car tanks on a daily basis. She wouldn’t get the point if it put on a stupid moustache and gave the Hitler salute. What’s sad is what they named their kids!

Mama Nazi said she named him Adolf, because nobody in the world would ever have that name. I’m sure nobody in the world has “STUPID CUNT” on their birth certificate, but that isn’t a reason to name your kid that. Actually, Stupid Cunt may be my birth name. I better check that shit.

The Campbells ended up getting Little Adolf’s cake made at Walmart. Figures. They probably threw in some frosted swastika cookies too.

And somewhere in Los Angeles, Bronx Mowgli is secretly passing the torch over to Little Adolf Hitler for having the cruelest baby name in the world.

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