Socks Is On Death’s Door!

December 15, 2008 / Posted by:

17-year-old Socks the cat, the former head pussy of the White House, is laid up in bed with cancer and not doing too good. Socks is currently shacked up with Betty Currie, who used to be Bill Clinton’s personal secretary, in Maryland. A family friend said Socks’ days are numbered. The friend also said that the vet was willing to put Socks on feeding tubes, but the Currie family decided he was too old for that mess.

I actually wrote a letter to Socks when I was in high school. It was a poem. That fucking says a lot about me. Writing poems to cats when I’m in high school! I think I thought he could really read it.

I barely knew Bill Clinton’s name, but I knew everything about Socks! And when Buddy came along, I was just as pissed off as Socks was. Replaced by a dog!

Oh, Socks! Smoke up a little cat nip and get comfortable. Soon you’ll be making your way to the big White House in the sky where Buddy is patiently waiting to make your afterlife a living hell (in a loving way, of course)!

Source: US News & World Reporter

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