December 14, 2008 / Posted by:

It feels like every time I blink, a human baby enters the world to eat my food, drink my water and breathe my oxygen. I was curious about this and so I Googled it, dumb fuck. Apparently, a baby is born every half second. That means like 100 babies popped out of vaginas while I was writing those three sentences. I shouldn’t have researched that shit, because now I’m hyperventilating at the thought of gazillions of BABIES crawling the streets, looting the grocery stores for mushed-up carrots and attacking chichis for titty milk. This is the future.

Anyway, Naomi Watts has given birth to the newest member of the child army. Her spokesbitch told E! News that Naomi shot out a baby boy yesterday. This is her second son with Liev Schreiber. Their first kid, Alexander Pete, is a little over a year old.

We don’t know the name of their newest kid, but I’m assuming it will be something pretty normal since Liev and Naomi don’t strike me as attention whores who will give their kid an effed up name so they can be “oh-so-different” and shit. I know, what kind of celebrities are they?!

Personally, I think the should name him Jet Girl in honor of Naomi Watts’ role in her greatest movie of all time: Tank Girl.

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