John Stamos has failed me. He was supposed to be the force behind bringing Kimmy Gibbler back to where she belongs: my Tivo queue. John was working on a spin-off of Full House, but has now given it up and swept it into the gutter. Kristine at E! has delivered the tragic news that John is no longer going to try and make a Full House remake happen, because he is a selfish and evil person who obviously has hate in his heart for Kimmy.
A source said, “We couldn’t make the deal. It’s completely dead right now.” The “insider” (aka DJ’s Pillow Person) went on to say, “It could happen in the future.”
When in the future?! Kimmy Gibbler’s comeback needs to be fasttracked! A few hos have told me that Kimmy is living in California, working at a college, begging to get back to San Francisco and into those totally hot outfits. Actually, I guess she hates being called Kimmy Gibbler. Yeah, weird. That’s totally her name.
Anyway, I will totally forgive John if he promises to reunite with The Rippers and play this song at my funeral party: