Bronx Mowgli Looks Like His Mommy

Pete Wentz wrote on his blog yesterday that BMw Baby is “cute” and “looks like his mommy.” Um. Which version of his mommy? There’s been a few. The bitch has been through more redesigns than the fucking Nissan Sentra. And I guess by “looks like his mommy,” he means the baby is one gigantic chin with little arms and legs and a severe acid reflux problem. My suspicious have been confirmed!

Pete also responded to the rumors that nobody wants to buy pictures of their baby.

About baby pics gossip: truth is like every celeb couple we were offered
mounds and mounds of money by mags from here to Guam to pimp out the baby. We just don’t want to go down that road with him.

We are not placing judgment on those that do as they often use the money in a very charitable way. However, we have made the decision to not sell Bronx’s baby pictures right now. We understand that like other celebrities have said, “there is a bounty on our heads” for these pictures. There is a danger when there are cameras being held over walls and into our backyard. We are followed day and night and that was fine when it was us but we are going to do our best to shelter Bronx from that as much as possible. Its scary to be followed by 10 cars to your home. We understand the curiosity, just not the viciousness that comes along with it when it becomes so insatiable. We know there will be a time when we’ll share him with everyone because that insatiable curiousity becomes unsafe or simply because we’re proud parents who want to show him off! We know our fans support and care about us and want to know about our family and we’ve always been straight up and open with those who care about us most, so at some time, when it makes sense, Bronx will be out in the world.

They have an OK! Magazine in Guam? Pete and Ashlee really are better than Brangelina by keeping their baby to themselves and not selling out for quick cash. That would be really honorable if it was true. Chinocchio needs to stop his lie-telling before his chin gets so big that he’ll have to start claiming it on his taxes. There’s no way Papa Joe would ever turn down mounds of cash. He wouldn’t even turn down a Mounds candy bar for the pics!!!

Real talk: they weren’t offered shit, so they decided to wait until after Bronx Mowgli’s plastic surgery makeover before they try to hit up the magazines again.