Fishy Is Trying

December 11, 2008 / Posted by:

There’s been a few internet whispers (and shouts) that Fishsticks Paltrow’s marriage to that cunt who sings in Coldplay is crumbling into the toilet. Fishy has shrugged it off, calling it all lies, lies, lies. Lies filled with lots of preservatives!

Well, some friend (yeah, some friend!) is telling Gatecrasher that Fishy’s marriage is nowhere near perfect, but she’s trying hard to keep it together. Wasn’t this a blind item….?

The friend says that Fishy is staying in London with her husband until the holidays are over. They are “holed up” in their home to try and work things out.

How is being holed up with Fishy a good thing for their marriage? No junk TV. No junk food. No junk words. No junk porn. No junk nothing. Just organic everything. I’m shocked Cunt Martin hasn’t drowned in the GOOP constantly pouring out of Fishy’s mouth hole.

The friend went on to blab that Vadge is one of the major problems in their marriage. Apparently, Fishy is all up on Vadge and wants to crawl inside her roided-up pussay so that she can be close to her forever and ever. Basically. The friend said, “Gwyneth has the Madonna bug… bad. It’s eerie. Gwyneth acts normally until Madonna comes around, and then Gwyn is all about Madonna, all the time. Madge has even introduced Gwyneth to all her friends. Now instead of going to see Chris perform, she’d rather hang out with people like Alex Rodriguez and Ingrid Casares.”

Fishy and Vadge’s spokeswhores have both denied this shit.

Methinks the “Madonna bug” is what Guy Ritchie suffered from. The proper medical term is Nonutsitis. A-Rod also has it. It’s when you go out of your way to make Vadge happy. Fishy just needs to get herself a pair of Neuticles and she’ll be free of that bug!

Seriously, Vadge isn’t the problem. The problem is that the marriage between a big sloppy cunt and a soggy old stick of fish can’t work! It sounded good on paper, but in real life, it was doomed from the beginning.

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