SPOILER ALERT! Lauri Waring bid farewell to The Real Housewives of Orange County on last night’s episode because the bright lights were melting her face. No. Lauri’s son was sentenced to 8-months in the clink for being a heroin-head, so she wants to spend all her time with her family. The shitty thing is that Lauri didn’t have a proper goodbye. I was hoping they’d have a dinner where all the housewives would start fighting, but that didn’t happen. During her final segment, they did show some hot pictures of Lauri back in the day. My mom had like ten million of those heirloom chokers from Charlotte Russe.
Lauri used to sort-of look like Laura Dern but now she looks like a microwaved Madame with too much bootleg botox in her face. Anyway, I’ll miss that Shrinky Dink face.
While I enjoyed seeing Vicki’s menopausal crotch attack Tamra’s husband on a boat last night, the housewives needed to fight more. They almost never bitch each other out! Are they afraid that if they get too angry their implants will pop? Or their botoxed faces will explode? I need a cougar fight!
In other sad OC Housewives news, you might have heard but Gretchen’s sugar daddy passed away back in September. He died before they could get married. Battle for the will!
Below is Lauri’s goodbye filled with botoxed tears: