Your office might be a little less gay today because of Day Without A Gay Day! A day without a gay is like a day without Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies and the Shiba Inu Puppy Cam. A day without a gay is a weepy one.
All gays in America have been called upon to not go to work today and instead volunteer your time to fight Prop 8 and the other anti-gay marriage ballot initiatives in Arizona, Arkansas and Florida. Some are also asking the gays not to buy any shit today to show bitches how important the gay dollar is! Um. Does that include lube? Because I’m totally out. You can’t make me use Crisco, oil or lotion. I can’t go back there again.
Now, I tried calling in gay, but my boss is a total Cunty McCunt and I’ve used that excuse before, so no dice. If you’re like me and you can’t call in gay, then click here to see how you can help.
If you call in gay, don’t try to be slick and spend your day eating dongs, Ding Dongs and watching your stories. Well, if you watch your stories, spend time with One Life to Live. It’s been getting good.
And I better not even see Tommy Girl’s or Ryan Gaycrest’s face today!