Oprah Has Fallen Off The Skinny Wagon

Oooooprah has had an epic battle weight the chunk for eternity and she’s been very honest about it with her legions of followers. For a while there, Oprah was at her “ideal weight” thanks to personal trainers, chefs, airbrush artists (see above), lipo-technicians, colonic experts, priests, magic elves and Gayle King. Well, Oprah now says she’s fallen off the wagon and weighs 200lbs. Her BMI is 31.8 which is considered obese by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

In the January issue of O Magazine (via NY Times), she writes, “I’m mad at myself. I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again?’”

Oprah went on to write that she gained 60 pounds in 2 years because an out-of-balance thyroid condition made her scared of working out. She said she knew shit wasn’t right when she almost missed a taping with Cher and Tina Turner, because she felt like a “fat cow.”

Oprah is now taking action….again. During the week of January 5th, she will bring her personal trainer, sex therapists, spiritual experts and Suze Orman on to her show to talk about healthy living.

How does this happen to Oprah? She’s the mighty OPRAH! She can do anything. Can’t she just demand that her fat cells leave her body immediately? Or maybe she can pay off the CDC to declare that a BMI of 31.8 is perfect and anyone above or below that is not worthy.

And she can easily drop a ton of useless fat from her life by ordering Dr. Phil to leave the fucking planet.