They Ruin The Picture

December 6, 2008 / Posted by:

This had the potential to be the perfect picture of the week, but rotten Peaches Geldof and her janky ass 15-minute husband had to ruin it. How selfish of them to slide into the picture when they could clearly see the bags of Cheetos and Del Taco deliciousness. Those things were perfect without their raggedy asses.

Pictures like this make me think of the good things California has to offer. There’s a Del Taco, Jack in the Crack, Panda Express and In-N-Out in a 5-mile radius of each other. There are so many possibilities for a fine dining experience.

This shit also makes me think of how I almost died outside of a Del Taco!! It was like the year 2000 and my friends and I had just finished getting wasted at some gay club. Since none of us got lucky, we settled for the next best thing: Del Taco. As I was rolling up to the drive-thru, this van of heinous “girls” cut me off! I couldn’t control what happened next. Every single curse word came flying out of my mouth: cunts, bitches, whores, sluts, skanks and (insert the rest here). Usually that puts whores in their places, but these bitches couldn’t handle the truth. They got out of their van and started pounding on my beat ass Mitsubishi Mirage. The dumb skeezers starting screaming that they were going to pull my skinny ass out of the car and beat me down.

I quickly decided to temporarily file away the “cunt” word for now, because I glanced over to see that my friends had suddenly developed Narcolepsy. They were pretending to be passed out! Because I didn’t have back up, I smacked my lips and then rolled up the window. I figured that if they were going to shoot me, maybe the glass could slow down the bullet and I’d be spared. Luckily, some security guard came rushing out to save me. I was soooooo close to shouting “That’s right, bitches! RUN!,” but figured it was best if I keep my fat mouth shut for once. Shit like this could only happen at Del Taco. Oh how I love Del Taco.

Here’s Peaches and her busted snail of a husband at a Del Taco outside of L.A. yesterday and also doing gross things on their hotel balcony later in the day.

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