Stephen Colbert Declares Victory!

December 6, 2008 / Posted by:

I meant to write this shit yesterday, but my brains started happy hour early, so I completely forgot. I should eat more fish (not pussy) and ginkgo. That’s what my mom recommends anyway. Do they make ginkgotinis? That would be stellar.

Soooooo….El Colbert declared victory over Kanye West on his show Thursday night. In case you were busy doing hood rat stuff and have no idea what I’m talking about, Stephen Colbert launched “Operation Humble Kanye” on his show. He asked America to buy his Christmas album on Wednesday, so that he could beat Kanye on the iTunes chart. He succeeded, but only for one day!

Kanye responded with the Twitter message: “Who the fuck is Stephen Colbert?” BUT Kanye later blogged on his own site that he did not Twitter that shit. He wrote: “I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS… THIS IS NOT ME!!!!!” Uh huh. Just keep the fake fight going. I’m drinking up every bit of it. Tastes like squid brains and bull shit.

Above is El Colbert’s victory speech. His description of Kanye’s album is pretty much spot fucking on. Although, it sounds more like Ms. Pac Man than regular Pac Man.

Also, Kanye was performing in Australia the other day, when some person threw a bottle or something at him. Kanye responded the only way Kanye knows how to respond. I wish I could stroke his sunglasses for bringing back the memories. I spent hours scribbling the phrase “Eat Shit & Die” all over my Pee-Chee folders in the sixth grade. Thanks to Kanye for bringing it back.

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