Hockey player and former Vogue intern Sean Avery was put on hold by the NHL on Tuesday for calling Elisha Cuthbert his “sloppy seconds” because she’s dating a player on a rival team. Sean will show up to a hearing today with the hockey league’s commissioner to talk about his indefinite suspension.
Sean put together an official apology for the comment that came out of his mouth: “I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were. I apologize for offending the great fans of the NHL, the commissioner, my teammates, my coaching staff and the Dallas Stars management and ownership. As many of you know, I like to mix it up on and off the ice from time to time, but understand that this time I took it too far.”
The only thing Sean is truly sorry for is not calling Elisha something worse than “sloppy seconds.” If you’re going to go down, you might as well go down big. Sloppy seconds is almost a compliment where I come from. Shit.
The douchedick also forgot to say “I’m so sowwy” to the only person he probably offended: his ex-girlfriend. A simple “And I apologize to my sloppy seconds” would have been good enough.