We all suspected that Priscilla Presley’s face is covered with the skin of fetuses, but now we have picture proof! At last night’s “Road to a Cure” event, Priscilla smelled fresh newborn baby blood in the air and immediately traced the scent back to David Archuleta. The look in her eyes is terrifying! She can’t wait to crush down his baby teeth into powder and smother her body with it.
Luckily, David has his crazy tween fans on speed dial and he was able to get them to crawl out of their mom’s basement TV room to fend Priscilla off using their screams and garlic salt.
David wasn’t completely safe, because a few minutes later Ryan Gaycrest also attacked him on the red carpet. David really shouldn’t leave his daddy’s side. There’s scary monsters everywhere.