Bryan Adams Has Stalkers

Crazy people are so fucking bizarre. Why the fuck would you stalk Bryan Adams? I’ll admit that whenever I listen to “Everything I Do, I Do It For You,” I feel like Bryan is serenading me and only me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to dress in camouflage to go through his trash. Okay, I might do that for Rojo Caliente, but never Bryan Adams. I mean, Bryan Adams?! Really?

What’s even crazier is that Bryan Adams stalkers are a mother and son team! The Sun says they are from Romania and have psychiatric problems. Oh, you think? I mean, stalking Bryan Adams should automatically get you a one-way ticket to the loony bin. I could understand BROOKE Adams from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but Bryan?! Okay, I’m just going to have to swallow that insane fact and deal with it.

The crazy mother and son have been stalking his ass for weeks. They showed up to his house in London and have been following his every move ever since. A source said, “They have become obsessed with Bryan, turning up at his house and stalking him everywhere. He was happy to sign an autograph, but this mother and her son have become obsessed with him. He doesn’t want them to get in any serious trouble, but he wants to be left alone.”

I wonder what these crazies look like. I picture them both to be about 4 feet tall, weighing 300lbs with their face covered in hairy moles. Their breath smells like rotten beef and they dress up as Robin Hood and Maid Marian whenever they stalk Bryan.

And I don’t think that when their psychiatrist told them they need to do more activities together, this is what he had in mind. Bryan Adams?!!!??!!