Daddy Spears As A Killer Clown Will Be In My Nightmares Tonight

I just finished watching Brit Brit’s not-documentary “For the Record” which really should’ve been called “Buy This Record” because it felt like a 70-minute infomercial to trick me into feeling sorry for her ass. It worked. If there was an 800-number at the bottom of the screen asking me to donate $10 to the “Make Bwit Bwit Smile 4Ever” Foundation, I would’ve called it.

You know, but I think there’s a reason why she’s crazy in the brains. Towards the end, Daddy Spears dresses up for Halloween and basically Brit Brit’s boys’ piss shit, because they are so scared of him. If he wore the same serial killer clown costume for Brit when she was a little Cheetoling, it would explain everything. Where the hell do you even buy that shit? The John Wayne Gacy Costume Shop?

During the rest of the infomercial, Brit tried to pull at my heart veins by talking about how she just wants to smell the crisp air at The Grove like normal people. Or go to the grocery store with her babies like Jessica Alba. She didn’t really go into detail about her”moment of craziness.” When asked why she shaved her head, she answered, “people shave their heads every day.” Did she even look at the footage of her shaving her own head? This was not just a Sunday afternoon visit to the barber shop. She was doing it because the voice in her head (Chester Cheetah) told her to do it.

Basically, I learned that being famous sucks. And being addicted to fame sucks even more.

The most horrifying moment of this shit was Vadge’s face! In the clip below, Vadge greets Brit backstage before her show in L.A. You can tell that Brit has no idea what she’s looking at. She’s trying to decide if that’s a real person talking to her or if it’s an animatronic character from Chuck E. Cheese. No wonder Vadge has no body fat. She probably burns 4,000 calories from all the energy it takes to blink just once.