No Fair!

November 29, 2008 / Posted by:

In this Sunday’s “60 Minutes,” Mah Boo Anderson Cooper races against the dolphin god known as Michael Phelps and he does so in some baggy trunks. Baggy fucking trunks!

You really expect me to believe that Mah Boo covers his nalgas when he lays out on South Beach (protected by SPF: INFINITY, of course)? No. Mah Boo probably has a closet full of mankinis, elephant thongs and nut cutters. I feel robbed! I want my money back for watching the preview above! How the hell can I tell how long the Silver Fox’s tail is in those things!

You know that if he wore his lucky silvery speedos, he would’ve won that shit! His little ass cheeks would have worked harder if they were covered in glittery fabulousness and his toes would’ve twinkled faster. And notice how his shiny hair made out of angels’ tears never came out of place, even in the pool.

With all that being said, can somebody please grant me a Christmas wish and nab those trunks for me! Those trunks are begging me to turn them into my own personal crotch pillow. Beeeeggggging!

(Thanks Rebecca)

SHARE
Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >