Before you get too wasted to make out the words on the screen, I want to wish all of you whores a very Happy Thanksgiving(and receiving) Day. Yes, it’s an American holiday, but everyone can celebrate. It’s easy! Just get mega drunk, yell at your family members for not understanding you and then pass out in front of the TV. After you black out for a few hours, wake up at 3am, eat cold stuffing which has been sitting out on the kitchen counter and then make yourself another cocktail with Martinelli’s from the kid’s table and gin (the vodka will probably be all gone). See, anyone can do it!
I also want to take a little time out to give thanks to the most 5 most important things in my life this year:
Chicken Cutlets – Without her, I wouldn’t get my daily allowance of poultry and cheese.
The Empress of Lucite – Without her, I wouldn’t know what true glamour really is.
Rojo Caliente – Without her, I wouldn’t know what natural beauty looks like.
The Puppy Cam – Without them, I wouldn’t know how to love.
And all of you whores!!! – Awww. I know. Let’s all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye. I will drink a few bottles of Asti Spumante in your honor tonight!
Happy Booze and Barf day everyone!!
(Image VIA Flickr)