Just Another Notch On Her Belt!

November 25, 2008 / Posted by:

Guess where our little Crackie of Camden was on Sunday night? No, not church, but a good guess. She’ was back in THE CLINIC (dun dun) after she apparently had a seizure from drugging and boozing too much. They say she had a seizure, but she was probably just showing off her heroin-induced break dancing moves.

Some loud-mouthed friend of Wino’s told The Sun that it all started while she was freaking out at Blaaaake during a phone call on Saturday. They were shouting at each other because that’s what crackheads do. One minute they’re breaking bottles over each other’s heads and the next minute they’re licking meth off of each other’s taints. Crackheads are so dysfunctional.

So after their phone brawl, Wino turned to her two best friends for comfort: crack & Jack! The source said, “It didn’t stop until she was on the floor on Sunday. She has ended up in hospital a few times after similar drink and drugs related seizures. If she carries on, one of these incidents will be her last.”

By “a few times” they must mean a thousand, right? Wino has been in the hospital so many fucking times that they probably gave her ass a punch card. After every 10th OD, she gets a box of ice pops.

I don’t get this shit. If I was Wino’s friend, I would put on a Hazmat suit, crush down some Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies, hold her in my arms, and then tell her to snort that shit instead. Snorting Circus Animal Cookie dust is good for you. Trust. I do that shit every night and have never felt better. AND your boogers will be covered in sprinkles! There’s nothing better than that!

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