I Leave You With Nicole

November 25, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

While some baby is kicking the back of my chair during my flight today (that always happens to me), Nicole Kidman and her indestructible forehead will guard the gates of Dlisted. Nobody can get through this bitch. You can fire a cannon at her forehead and that shit will bounce back right at you. Tommy Girl can shoot Travolta jizz nuggets out of his Scientolohole and he will fail. Don’t even try to break through her forehead.

Just make sure to feed her some mashed up prunes every 30-minutes or so.

Below is Memaw Nicky, her possum-haired husband, Hugh Jackman, his granny and Lauren Bacall at the NYC premiere of “Australia” last night. One really fucking hot film reviewer had this to say about Nicky’s performance in that shit: “She can’t act. Instead, she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I’m-looking-interesting blue eyes. ” Yup, that sounds about right.

I’ll post more shit when I land! Don’t forget to wipe!

Tags: Nicole Kidman, Plastic Surgery

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