My hotel doesn’t get Bravo. Fuck. The end. Done. Finished. Goodnight. Life is caca. It’s a wrap. All of the above. I fucking swear, I’m about to get on a Big Wheel and pedal my ass to the nearest joint that gets Bravo. Tonight is the television event of my life and I’m going to miss this shit. I should sue a dumb bitch over this! Somebody please call my ass and hold up the phone to the TV while “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” reunion is playing. It will be like the old timey days when they just listened to the radio and shit.
I’m going to miss Kim explain why she wears a wig made out of dog pubes. I’m going to miss NeNe beat down Kim with her eyes. I’m going to miss Lisa Wu having a “Lisa Wu moment.” This is the worst moment of my life. Ugh. Some beautiful soul who cares about humanity (i.e. ME) better put this entire shit on YouTube.
And now I must go and cry into my dildo, hoping to dream about all the amazing and beautiful things that are happening during the reunion show. All of you lucky skanks who get to watch this shit better be grateful for this gift. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!