When Two Douchebags Become One

November 24, 2008 / Posted by:

Do you Twit take Twatty’s fleshy beard to be yours for at least another 15 minutes? GROSS! I’m actually kind of shocked that Heidi and Spencer managed to get married without at least 30 staged photo shoots leading up to the nauseating day. I mean, where were all the “Twit and Twat go to the caterers” or “Twit and Twat go to pre-wedding counseling with their priest” shoots? Or better yet the “Twit and Twat get their genitals cut off so they can never procreate” photo shoot, because she’s looking a little on the preg-preg-pregnant side. I can’t even type that shit! If she is carrying the spawn of Spencer, then it really is time for the world to end. That’s it, we had good run, but this madness cannot go on! Jesus, please push the button!

Anyway, everyone’s least favorite famewhore douchebags eloped on November 20th in Mexico and UsWeekly just happened to be there to document the whole thing….and give them a big bag of cash as a wedding present. If you’re feeling a little bloated this week, then just flip through this magazine and you’ll shit and barf up everything in your system at once. Bloat gone!

Visit ONTD to see the rest of the pictures and equally gross quotes. I’m feeling like I should go and lay my head on the toilet for a few fucking lifetimes.

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