I was in line at Best Buy yesterday waiting to pay for some dumb crap and I was browsing the new CDs they try to sell your ass before you get to the register. I noticed the new Guns N’ Roses album, so I picked it up and said out loud, “I heard this was a piece of trash.” The dude in front of me was holding the CD and gave me a look that made my toe nails fall off. It was a “I want to butt fuck you with a hot hammer” kind of look. I’m not fucking sorry that I hurt his feelings, because he had a long ass, curly ponytail with blonde highlights in it. I’m sorry, but you deserve to get your feelings hurt if you have one of those.
Anyway, that shit came out yesterday after 15-years in the making and China is not happy about it! One of the newspapers published by the Communist Party said the album is an attack on their nation. From what I’ve heard it’s also an attack on ear drums. The article says that “unidentified Chinese Internet users had described the album as part of a plot by some in the West to grasp and control the world using democracy as a pawn.” The article also said that the record “turns its spear point on China.”
Obviously, they want a free bottle of Dr. Pepper. That shit will make them happy. A bottle of Dr. Pepper with a little bottle of Everclear. That shit is good.
And if you haven’t registered for your free coupon to get a 20 oz. bottle of Dr. Pepper yet, you can do so until 6pm today here. And yes, I still bought the album even though I slagged it off! Well, I wanted my free shit of Dr. P!