Raise A Glass For Lisa Persdotter!
While you’re getting tanked at your church brunch today, remember to bow your head and give a toast to 28-year-old Swedish socialite Lisa Persdotter for marrying 60-year-old Hungarian born billionaire Charles Simonyi in Sweden yesterday! It always makes me feel warm inside whenever a gold digger finds true love.
Guests at Lisa’s wedding included Bill Gates, Mick Jagger, Ulf Ekberg of Ace of Base and Elton John.
Lisa is an investment banker who apparently comes from a wealthy family, but they aren’t billionaires! Lisa’s family have known Charles for a while, because their homes in St. Tropez are close together.
Charles is some smart software genius who oversaw the creation of MS Word and Excel. He now runs his own company. He’s also in love with space or some crap. He recently spent $25 million on a trip outside of Earth.
Charles was with Martha Stewart for 15 years. They broke up earlier this year. He got engaged to Lisa this August. Damn. This is not a good thing for Martha, but a very good thing for Lisa!
Lisa trapped Charles at the right moment. You got to get their asses when they’re vulnerable and heartbroken! Now all Lisa has to do is find a surrogate to have a couple kids for her, so she doesn’t get fat. After that, she needs to hire a bitch to seduce Charles, get it on videotape and voila! She’ll be a multi-millionairess just like that!
I just hope Lisa didn’t sign one of those ugly prenuptial agreement things.