David Spade Strikes Again!

Methinks David Spade waits outside of therapist’s offices for heartbroken middle-aged celebwhores who have just finished crying botox tears over their latest break-up. He catches them when they are all emotionally raw and shit. I mean, he’s done sexy times with Heather Locklear, Pamela Anderson, Teri Snatcher, Lara Flynn Boyle and now Nicollette Sheridan!

At her 45th birthday party, David and Nicollette were spotted tonguing each other’s mouths. A witness told People, “They cuddled and kissed. They were full-on making out in a booth.”

This is my thinking: when Nicollette is at Rite-Aid buying Replens and “I Found Someone” comes on, David is there to massage her knees and help squeeze the tears out of her botoxed face. Then he tells her a fart joke, she laughs, forgets all about Michael Bolton and sucks on David’s cat dick in the bathroom. That’s how he gets their asses!