Last night’s season finale of “The Not Really Housewives of Atlanta” was just a little hors d’oeuvre to hold us over before the monumental crazy feast known as the reunion show. In the clip above, I added the preview to the reunion show and this shit looks like it’s going to be a religious experience. This shit is going to be every Jerry Springer and Marilyn Kagan episode wrapped in a big, busted weave bow. When NeNe says “close your legs to married men,” she was talking to Kim’s wig. This kind of confirms that Big Papa is married. Anyway, that shit is on next week and I’m already lighting the candles.
In the first few minutes into last night’s episode, Kim actually said the words, “NeNe looks like a drag queen.” Kim really must be a vampire, because obviously she can’t see herself in a mirror. And Kim’s asshole must be relieved that caca never passes through its hole since it’s obvious that Kim shits through her mouth. After I finished cleaning the Smirnoff Ice I spit all over my sofa from Kim’s delusional words, I watched the rest of the episode. Nothing really, really happened….
DeShawn continued to talk with a locked jaw, Sheree continued to work on her busted fashion line which will hit stores….NEVER, Lisa continued to be a serious businesswoman, Kim continued to be fucked in the brains and NeNe continued to rule my world. I learned that NeNe has the handwriting of a grade school serial killer. It looks like I wrote that letter to Curtis with my feet!
The clip above pretty much sums everything up. Lisa throws a dinner for all the housewives to bury the hatchet. NeNe calls Kim “small” (the only thing small about Kim is her brain) and is about to unleash her fury on her when Mister NeNe stops and gives some kind of motivational speech. It was like Bill Cosby jumped in his body to deliver words of wisdom. I wanted to push him out of the way, so that NeNe could rip Kim’s wig off, drop it off at the dog pound, come back to the restaurant and get on with beating down Kim! That never happened and instead everyone played nice….until next week.
But we did learn that Kim and her mysterious Big Papa broke up (aka his wife found out)! I hope that before they broke up, he bought her a charm bracelet with the letters K-A-T on it.
P.S. – “Lisa Wu has her doubts” is my new life motto.