Emo Baby Does Not Want To Come Out

Yes, this is an old ass picture of Ashlee and Jessica B.S. (Before Surgeries). So…Asshole Simpson has been pregnant…oh…for about 2 or 3 years now, at least. There were rumors over the weekend that Emo Baby was about to make his grand entrance, but apparently that didn’t happen. The big-tittied frog went on The Ellen Degeneres Show and blabbed that her sister can’t wait to pop.

Jessica told Ellen that Asshole may induce labor, “They’re going to have to. It’s already developing really quick.” She went on to say that Asshole is trying everything to get Emo Baby to come out, “Different foot massages and stuff. I don’t know. I think she’s really just jumping around trying everything right now.”

This is the thing, that baby is stalling for time. It does not want to come the fuck out and can you blame it? It’s sitting in there, arms crossed, pout on its face, thinking “Nope. Not today. Not ever.” Asshole better come to terms with the fact that she’s going to be pregnant for the rest of her life. She’s going to be a 54-year-old woman, knocked up with an overgrown 30-year-old. Emo Baby’s leg is going to be hanging out of her snatch and its hand will be coming out of her ass, but it will still refuse to come out.

You know how they can trick Emo Baby into popping out? Ass and Pete need to tell it that they will put it up for adoption as soon as it comes out. That baby would jump out with the adoption papers ready to sign before Ass could say “acid reflux.”

Source: People