Brit Brit Wants To Be Free!

November 18, 2008 / Posted by:

Brit Brit wants Chester Cheetah to waltz up to her cage, open up the door and set her free her back into the world to go and do a bunch of hood rat stuff. That’s what The Sun claims anyway. They have seen the Brit documentary “On The Record” (preview above) and wrote about a couple of scenes where she complains that every day is Groundhog Day. Well, Groundhog Day without Bill Murray.

After Brit flipped out and did a bunch of crazy shit, her daddy became her master. She says in the documentary that everything is so fucking controlled now and she just wants to be free! She says, “There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day.

Well, that’s because every single day she gets up, drinks dolls, eats Cheetos with milk, watches cartoons, goes poopy, drinks Frapp after Frapp until 8pm, drinks more dolls, eats Cheeto Casserole, prays to Cheesus, goes into her cage, rubs her jerky pie until it vomits and then goes to sleep. It is Groundhog Day but with more Cheetos! And that’s delicious.

Brit goes on to moan, “I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening. If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time. I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free. I think I’ve learnt my lesson now and enough is enough.”

That’s right, Brit. Enough is enough! This new life is boring. As En Vogue would say: FREE YO CRAZY MIND! They didn’t sing that last part, but I felt it was appropriate in this situation.

Brit, Go out, shave your head, grab an umbrella, beat a bitch and just go crazy! Free yourself! Oh, wait. You’ve done all that before. Scratch that. Um…just watch this beautiful artistic video below until I think of something. Brit Brit is totally going to commission this dude to do all her family portraits, Christmas cards and even her personal boudoir paintings.

Thanks Arizona

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