This past weekend, two reality show dick bags found themselves in handcuffs after acting the fool at two different bars. First up we have Ace from “Survivor Gabon.”
Ace Gordon was voted off to jail on early Sunday morning for getting into a drunken fight at a bar which ended in him hitting a woman and fighting with the cops. So he’s a dick off-screen as well as on!
It all started at a bar in Naples, FL where Ace was thrown out of for being a grouchy drunk and getting violent with a chick. The cops were called to take him off to the slammer. Ace resisted arrest and told them he was “famous.” Yeah, because that always works. Ace was released later in the day.
I want to slap myself in the nuts for having a crush on Ace. I know, I know. While everyone was off slobbering over Marcus’ floppy peen, I was secretly getting tingly in the private area over Ace and his giant dwarf-looking head. I always get the sexy feeling for the dick bags who can’t hold their liquor!
Now on to Mary Delgado! On the sixth season of “The Bachelor,” Byron picked Mary and the two went off to live in dysfunctional hell. Mary is sort of known for boozing and brawling. She was already busted a while ago for punching Byron in the face. Well, TMZ says she was back behind bars on Saturday for getting tanked and acting like a bitch at Lorina’s Cantina in Del Rio, Texas.
The bar called the police because Mary would not leave. She told them it was her “constitutional right” to be there. I love that shit!!!! That’s the fucking best excuse ever. I learn all the good shit from reality stars. The next time a bartender complains that I’m too drunk, I’m going to say, “I’ve never been drunk in my life. I’m a businesswoman. Furthermore, it is my constitutional right to be there.”
You have to fight for your constitutional right to paaaaaaartay!
When the cops arrived, Mary became even more annoying. She was thrown into a cop car, which didn’t have a backseat cage, and started kicking at the radio. Maybe she didn’t like the song that was playing?
Mary was later bailed out of the clink by her battered boyfriend Byron.
You know, Mary needs to leave Byron and become the next “Bachelorette.” This kind of drunk ass behavior needs to be documented on a reality TV show. Shame on Mary for doing this shit without cameras rolling!