Sasha Fierce Needs New Dancers

November 16, 2008 / Posted by:

Sasha Fierce pounced into “SNL” last night to perform that “Singles Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)” song and she looked like a greedy, high-powered 80s businesswoman who was too busy worrying about an upcoming corporate takeover to realize that she forgot to wear the bottom part of her Claude Montana suit.

Sasha Fierce is also not going to be happy to learn that her dancers were fucking taking the shine off of her and I don’t mean that in a good way. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the blondie dancer who looked like she was freshly plucked out from her day job as sweater folder at J.Crew and thrown on stage with Sasha Fierce.

Sasha needs to replace those tricks with this bitch below. I’ve shown this shit before, but it’s time for an encore! Actually, Sasha would never share a stage with homegirl right here, because the lights would immediately go out and all spotlights would shine on him. I’m having a hard time calling Beyonce Sasha Fierce, because this is the real Sasha Fierce right here. Who’s going to let Beyonce know that the spirit of Sasha Fierce has bounced out of her body and shimmied into the glittery hole of this hot piece?

BONUS!Click here to see Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg tuck their junk into leotards for a skit with Beyonce. Justin sucks at playing queeny, but the douche has legs.

BONUS, PART II!Click here to see Sasha Fierce perform “If I Were A Boy.” Those titties were aching to free themselves from that tape and jump out of that dress. Sasha wouldn’t have noticed because she was too busy exuding raw emotion into her performance. I also love the fan towards the end of her performance. I wish it would have blown her ass right off the stage.

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