You Can Always Count On Wino

November 14, 2008 / Posted by:

I’m feeling like a dried-up, moldy piece of caca today. I woke up with a fucking baby porcupine sleeping in my throat. When I spit it out in the sink, it looked like the crusty, cheesy, delicious part of lasagna. But I doubt this shit I spit up was delicious. I haven’t done laundry, so I had to wear some old ass, torn up, undies. I’ve been wearing the same outfit of sweats, a t-shirt and a hoodie for the past 3 days. You can probably put together 3 balanced meals from all the stains on my clothes. My hair is looking like a ratty patch of ass hair complete with dingles. And I probably smell like microwaved death. Get the picture?

Well, after I looked at these pictures of Amy Wino summoning the crack gods in the streets of Camden last night, I said to myself, “You know, Michael? You look hot today. You go, girl!” You seriously can always count on the Crackie of Camden to boost your self-esteem when you’re feeling like gutter vomit. For this, I will always love her.

Don’t ask me what Borat Wino was up to last night. I mean, she’s dancing around in dirt, flirting with the paps and looking absolutely stunning while doing so. Basically, she’s doing some typical crackhead shit.

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