I’m sorry for the long ass pause I just took between posts. I feel like I’m coming down with the bubonic plague, so I went to rest my eyes for a quick minute and you know how that works. So! I’m here and now it’s time to see what the children are up to!
18-year-old Taylor Swift, who I just want to throw a block of cheese at, has confessed that 19-year-old Joe Jonas left her for Camilla Belle! Taylor told the heartbreaking teen tale to UsWeekly, “They’ve been together since we broke up. That’s why we broke up – because he met her. We don’t talk.”
This reminds me of when my first girlfriend in the 4th grade left me for another dude, because she said I walked like a girl. Well, FUCK HER. If she could only see me now! I don’t walk like a girl anymore, I walk like a woman!
And she broke up with me by sending me a note during lunch that said “I’m breaking up with you.” Her breaking up with me using a note made sense, because I asked her to be my girlfriend by sending her a note that said, “Do you want to go around? Circle YES or NO.”