George Clooney Is Trying To Tell Me Something

November 12, 2008 / Posted by:

George Clooney dodges marriage the same way most gynecologists dodge Wonky McValtrex’s diseased snatch. Well, the man who wants nothing to do with marriage has spoken out against California’s gay marriage ban.

Georgie told E!’s Ted Casablanca: At some point in our lifetime, gay marriage won’t be an issue, and everyone who stood against this civil right will look as outdated as George Wallace standing on the school steps keeping James Hood from entering the University of Alabama because he was black.

Ignore all those words he said. Forget that. He was really saying, “Michael, if you make Prop. 8 disappear, I will marry you legally in California without a pre-nup.” Seriously, he said that! Put your ear to his statement above. Tell me you don’t hear what I hear. I’m not crazy! I even asked my dog and he heard the exact same thing I did. I’m not insane! Take that, Robot Call Girl!

George! I will make it go away. I will trade the Mormons my stash of Mother’s Cookies if they drop that Prop 8 shit. Hey, Mother’s Cookies are a hot commodity! Or maybe I can offer them a month-long visit with Spaghetti Cat. Who doesn’t love Spaghetti Cat?!

On a serious note, there’s a few Prop 8 protests tonight and tomorrow. There’s one in NYC tonight. Visit GLAAD for more info on that shit.

And here’s my hopefully future ex-husband and his hairy pubestache leaving Dan Tana’s in West Hollywood last night.

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