Guy Ritchie Doesn’t Give A Shit

November 11, 2008 / Posted by:

Guy Ritchie was reunited with Rocco and David in London yesterday after not seeing them for a few weeks. They’ve been prisoners of the gristle monster. Vadge wasn’t going to let control go that easily. The Daily Mail claims that she sent a list of rules with her boys that Guy must follow. If he doesn’t, she will never eject his shriveled nuts from her roided-up vagina prison.

Here’s THE LIST:

Under no circumstances should they be allowed to read newspapers, magazines, or watch TV or DVDs.

They must adhere at all times to a macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic diet with no processed or refined food.

All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water.

They should wear the clothes Madonna has sent with them on the flight. If they need to be bought anything, they should not contain any man-made fibers.

Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places.

They should not be bought toys that are spiritually or ethically unsound.

Guy should not discuss the separation with them.

Madonna should have phone contact with the boys as much as three or four times a day at times set by her.

The boys should not be introduced to Guy’s new friends, especially any new female friends.

Madonna has encouraged the access to give time with the boys, rather than his parents spending large amounts of time with them.

The boys should not be photographed while with Guy. It is his responsibility to organize security so that does not happen.

At bedtime, Guy should read David the English Rose books Madonna wrote.

Oops. Guess who was photographed with David and Rocco yesterday at the airport? Guy broke a rule! No gold star for him!

Hopefully, he’ll continue to break rule after rule. He should make sure he’s papped going into a porn theater, with the boys wearing polyester, eating cookies and candy, with a G.I. Joe toy in one hand and in the other hand a copy of OK! magazine with the tagline “Madge & Guy: It’s Over!

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