But How Are His Eyebrows?

The gardener with the floppy manchichs from “Desperate Housewives” was being a d-bag at a club in Monaco, hanging out a second-floor balcony when he fell 30-to-40 feet and hit the ground. Dirty douche water exploded everywhere. After they cleaned that up, they took Jesse Metcalfe to a nearly hospital where he had a brain (HA!) scan. That brain scan must have taken hours. The technicians couldn’t figure out why the x-rays only had the words “not available” on them.

Jesse was released from the hospital in Monaco today and flown to London where he had a C-Scan. His spokesbitch said, “He accidentally slipped off a balcony and was knocked unconscious, but he is fine and now recovering from some minor bruises in a London hospital.”

Translation: douche + booze + balcony = busted head.

I’m sure that through all this drama his eyebrows remained faaaaabulous. You know that when he hit the ground he started screaming about his eyebrows. The ambulance had to take him to a salon first to make sure one eyebrow hair wasn’t out of place. He’s serious about that shit.

Here’s Jesse with an owie being wheeled around the airport today.