The Twin Messiahs Are “Smiley”

November 9, 2008 / Posted by:

Today was a holy day in Hollywood and not because it’s Sunday, but because Saint Morticia graced it with her heavenly presence at the DVD launch for “Kung Fu Panda” at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. The drug dealers, roaches and hookers of Hollywood took the day off, because even they can’t commit sin when a deity is in their midst.

Saint Morticia was kind enough to speak about her four-month-old twin chosen ones to People. Traffic stopped and a hush went over Hollywood Blvd. while Saint Morticia spoke, “They’re great. They’re still so little, but they do have their own personalities. They’re at that stage where their personality really starts to shine.

Um…everything about them shines, because there’s a bright ass halo always hovering around their golden heads. They need to be a damn dimmer on that shit! Maddox has to wear a sleeping mask, because it’s so fucking bright. RUDE.

Saint Morticia also said the twin messiahs are getting very “smiley.” DUH! Of course, they’re “smiley.” They’re smiling because they already know they can end us all in one burp! Also, when they fart, shiny crystal bubbles come out. Babies like shiny things. Even god babies.

Here’s Saint Morticia looking extra Morticia-ey with Jack Black, his mega gas belly and that sexy piece of sun-dried tomato Dustin Hoffman.

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