Dig out the chastity belt from the attic and strap it onto your husband immediately, because Sienna Miller’s bulldozer vagina is back in business! Sienna told UsWeekly that she finally detached Balthazar Getty’s hair peen (I’m assuming) from her snatch after only a few months together and she’s single now. Single and ready to mingle…with your husband’s dick.
At the Hollywood Dominoes event in London, the happy homewrecker said, “I’m single at the moment, and I’m completely happy with that. It’s nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss. I’m cool with being on my own.”
And the slutty angels in heaven are singing “Whore-a-lujah!”
Balthazar’s dick was getting stale and too complicated, so this shit was long overdue. Let the man with the cartoon villain name go back to his wife and let Sienna go back to doing what she does best: sluttin’! I’m really fucking happy to hear this, because I was starting to think that she was actually…um…dickmatized. Note to sluts of the world: The minute you get dickmatized, immediately put your genitals into rehab and cease all contact with said dick. Dickmatization + a shameless slut = DISASTER!
Below is Sienna in her “dick huntin‘” dress at that Domino event on Friday night. If you put your ear to the monitor, you can actually hear her vagina crying tears of joy at the fact that it’s getting new peen!