Kanye West was hanging out in his dressing room at the MTV Europe Awards, probably violently blogging on his MacBook air, when he felt the urge to purge through his pee hole. Since he’s Kanye, he couldn’t be bothered with walking 20 or 30 steps to the nearest toilet. So he got up and pissed all over the carpet. In Kanye’s beautiful mind, I’m sure he figured he was cleansing the carpet with his greatness. At least he didn’t have to go caca.
Kanye was sharing a dressing room with the Ting Tings and they were a little surprised to have his piss all over the floor. Their drummer told The Sun, “We ask for a lot of unusual things on our backstage rider but that ain’t one of them!”
Even in a drunken state, I don’t think I’ve ever pissed on the carpet before. Let’s see, I’ve pee peed in a water bottle, an alley way, a few plastic cups, various bushes, planters, a garbage chute, a trash can, countless sinks, in my pants and the bed. It’s natural! And I haven’t pissed in the bed for at least 20 years. Okay, I really mean 20 days, but those damn “happily peeing in a pristine toilet” dreams trick me every time!