Betty Boop Is Coming To Broadway

November 7, 2008 / Posted by:

It’s already been announced that the bitches of Broadway are turning Jacko’s song “Thrillerinto a full-fledged Broadway musical, and now they are planning to give Betty Boop the musical treatment.

Pop songwriter and reality star (Princes of Malibu, duh) David Foster, who has worked with Celine Dion and Mimi, will write the music for this future caca fiesta. Some hos named Oscar Williams and Sally Robinson will write the book. The producers are aiming to open on Broadway during the 2010-2011 season. The show is expected to close 2 days later. They issued this press release:

“In the new musical, the inimitable Betty Boop joins her friends Bimbo and Koko to work her irresistible charm in reuniting her grandfather (who has created the Greatest Invention of Mankind) with the long-lost, true love of his life, while saving the Happy Heart Theater from the developer’s bulldozers.”

I’m going to name my first and second born brats Bimbo and Koko. Seriously, I don’t know how to take this shit. On one hand, Betty Boop is an old timey tramp and Broadway needs more slutiness. On the other hand, can you really handle listening to some squeaky-voice singing “boop-boop-a-doop” over and over again for 90-minutes? And how are they going to capture the magicalness (I think I made that up) of her gargantuan head?! That’s her best feature!

Methinks this shit is going to be more like “Betty Poop.”

Source: Playbill

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