The View: The Morning After

November 5, 2008 / Posted by:

Elisabeth Hasslecrack put herself together this morning after exploding last night, dressed herself in mourning black, popped a few Valiums, rehearsed her speech in the mirror, adjusted the stick in her ass and then went to work.

On “The View” this morning, Hasselcrack put on a fake face and said she would support Obama as our new president. I could almost hear the chorus of screams coming out of her ears.

Don’t worry. This bitch will be back to her old whining tricks tomorrow.

After Hasslecrack spoke out of her ass and fisted everyone around the table, Sherri Shepherd gave her thoughts. Sherri usually makes my eyelashes fall out, but I felt something tingly in my dead heart when listening to her talk. I even felt something watery coming out of my eyes. I don’t like that feeling, so I had to rewind to watch Hasselcrack again, so that my dead heart could return to its charcoal state.

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