Kim From “The Real Housewives Of Atlanta” Is The Future Of Music

November 5, 2008 / Posted by:

We finally got to hear Kim’s gift from god on “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” last night and I hope she got a gift receipt with it, because her voice is whacked. The bitch sounds like a deaf seal who hit her head on a rock before falling into a well where she’s squealing in misery. NeNe was definitely right when she said that Kim’s wig is on too tight, because the bitch is delusional if she thinks that she really has a beautiful voice.

In addition to learning that Kim has a voice like a bruised mammal in pain, we also learned some other things about her. I put it in a list since everyone loves lists!

Kim Gets Botox – 30-year-old Kim has been getting Botox every 6-months since she was 24, because “white cracks.” She needs to get Botox in her vocal chords to shut her ass up so we won’t have to hear her sing anymore.

Kim Doesn’t Know The ABCs Of Music: After meeting with a vocal coach, Kim is told she doesn’t know what she’s doing. The vocal coach tells her she’s a beautiful house with a crack in the foundation. Kim says she doesn’t need to know the ABCs of music because she’s a singer. No, you’re a dumb fuck, not a singer.

Kim Doesn’t Know Her ABCs At All: During lunch with Dallas Austin, Kim tells him about her conversation with the vocal coach. In the conversation, the vocal coach asked Kim what “2+2″ is? Kim answered 4. The vocal coach then asked, “How do you spell cat?” Kim answers, “K-A-T.” KAT! Sheree was also at the table and gave a look, but didn’t say shit. KAT! I can’t….

Kim Has Never Had Guacamole Before: Who hasn’t had guacamole before?!

Kim Drinks And Drives: In one scene, Kim is playing her god awful song for Sheree in her Porsche with a big, glass of white wine in her hand. What’s the number to 9-1-1?!

Kim Has A Lot Of Nerve: Kim and NeNe get into a fight, because NeNe has a sense of humor and Kim doesn’t. Basically. Kim sends NeNe a mean text and calls her a “Low Budget Bitch!” Kim needs to look up the phrase “low budget,” because staring back at her will be a supersized picture of her WIG!

And Sheree needs to go to the Free Clinic and get hers ears checked, because she actually said Kim has a beautiful voice. NO. You know who has a beautiful voice on that show? NeNe! She’s the real music superstar of Atlanta. Above is Kim’s whoreiffic warble and below is NeNe’s beautiful song about Kim. You be the judge:

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >