No, he didn’t win the entire thing, but he did win the “sexiest piece who finished in 3 hours and 50 minutes” medal. Mister ScarJo ran the 26-mile marathon yesterday for Team Fox, in honor of foxy people everywhere. No, Team Fox is in honor of his daddy, who suffers from Parkinson’s Disease.
Alex P. Keaton aka Michael J. Fox was on hand to cheer Ryan on. Ryan opened up his sexy mouth and told People, “When I saw Michael J. Fox on Fifth Avenue, I gained about 15 pounds in goose bumps. It kind of pushed me through the last six miles or so.”
Ryan’s wife (that sounds weird) ScarJo was in Ohio campaigning for her boyfriend Obama.
Ryan could have made some cash for Team Fox if he auctioned off a vial of his nutsack sweat on eBay. I know at least a dozen whores who would pay top dollar for that shit. And when I say “a dozen whores” I mean “me.”
I actually caught some of the marathon yesterday and I needed a cocktail and a nap after watching all those people run. It’s exhausting! I also noticed the hundreds of banana peels all over the floor! That’s a cartoon accident waiting to happen. I wonder if Ryan sucked on a banana while running? The visuals! Shit. I think I just had an accident.