Quotes From The Botox Diaries

Nicole Kidman was somehow able to open up her mouth and given an interview to Parade Magazine about everything from her precious pillow baby to how she doesn’t consider herself a vain person. Basically, the bitch told a bunch of lies. I would say that her nose probably grew during the conversation, but you know that shit doesn’t move. It’s totally made of Botox.

Nicky on Sunday Roast: “I’m raw and emotional. I cry even thinking of her. But they are tears of joy. Because I suppose I never thought I would get to have it. To have been given it so late in life—I’m so ready for it. And I think giving birth to a child, as a woman, is what we’re born to do. I don’t mean that to sound sexist, because many women don’t get to do it, and I thought I was one of them. But at the same time, if you are given that gift, it’s an extraordinary thing.”

Bitch can only cry tears of glycerin, because there’s no way any liquid can squeeze out of those eyes! Nothing is getting through any of her ducts! The Botox army is making sure of that shit. And when she said Sunday Roast was a gift, she really meant it literally! Sunday came wrapped up in a beautiful box with a gift receipt attached.

Nicky on vanity: “I’m not enamored with youth. There isn’t wisdom in youth. My own sense of vanity is not that strong. I get ready in five minutes. I’m not a mirror person. But I like to look healthy — the youthfulness is in health. It’s very important. Maybe that comes from my mom having breast cancer. I’ve seen people suffer. So my desire to stay agile — I want that! I want to be able to run and walk and hike, and get out there. I love being outdoors and I feel caged if I can’t get out. To see the sun come up — it puts me in a place to go, ‘What a great day.’”

You know that Carly Simon song? Well, it was really written for Nicole Kidman and not Warren Beatty. You know my idol, Vanity the singer? Prince named her in honor of Nicole.

This bitch is full of shit! I mean, full of Botox! If she wasn’t “enamored with youth,” the Botox factory would have to shut the fuck down.

Click here to read the rest of this shit and to see a gallery of how Nicole went from fug to frozen.