The Most Elegant Bride In The World

October 29, 2008 / Posted by:

Meet the lovely and demure Missy Quinn of the UK. The barely 16-year-old pure virgin is a newlywed after marrying her 17-year-old prince charming in a fairytale wedding. A fairytale wedding that cost her father £100,000. Well, it does take a lot of money to put together a classy affair like this one.

Before I tell you about the wedding of the year, let’s find out how the romance of our time transpired. Missy, who hasn’t been in school since she was 9, travels around with her family in a caravan. I guess that’s a fancy British word for “trailer” or “RV.” Missy first met her groom, Thomas, at Alton Towers theme park when she was just 13. She probably knew he was the one when he stroked her hair while she gave him a blow job on one of the rides. That’s true love.

Missy and Thomas kept their romance going even though he lived in one place while she drove around the country with her traveller family. Missy’s 33-year-old mother, Theresa (who got married when she was 16), said she was surprised when they told her of their plans to wed, but she was okay with it because they are “madly in love.” Translation: he didn’t pull out in time and Missy’s knocked up.

Missy’s 35-year-old father Simon paves driveways for a living, but he’s been saving up for his princess’ special day and said the “wedding was worth every penny.” That’s funny, because it looks like it cost a penny! Here’s how some of the £100,000 was spent:

Missy’s luxurious two-piece wedding gown: £16,000
Missy’s gorgeous crystal bouquet: £500
The outfits worn by some of the babies at the wedding: £300
One of the guests’ hot pants and bra ensemble: £700
Missy and Thomas’ new trailer, a gift by her parents: £18,000

Simon also paid for hotels, a rented Rolls-Royce, a tiara, a honeymoon in Turkey and a reception for 150 guests. Many of the guests wore glamorous outfits made of feathers and crystals. Several girls as young as 9 walked around wearing bra tops, high heels and make-up.

£16,000 for Missy’s wedding dress? Somebody got ripped off…. I’m sure there’s a hooker somewhere who is wearing a dress just like Missy’s and would’ve gladly handed it over for half a crack rock.

The only thing I have to say about this wedding is that I really fucking wish I was a guest! I hope they captured every precious moment on film and plan on releasing it in porn theaters everywhere! Instead of the first dance, they did the first 69 as a married couple. Instead of throwing rice, they threw morning-after pills. Hah. I can go on and on….

Congrats to Missy and Thomas! May the next 6-months together be filled with many creampies and police visits. I say 6-months, because that’s how long they are going to last.

Here’s a few more pictures of “16-year-old” Missy in her stunning dress and with her new husband and her parents. Does her husband have fucking tampon bits in his hair?! And I hate to admit it, but her father is kind of hot. I’m a sucker for Color Me Badd facial hair.

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