When Kim Zolciak of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” proclaimed on the show that she was twenty-fucking-nine, television sets across America simultaneously received a huge load of various soft drink brands on their screens. You could hear the millions of cackles from space. Well, Kim stands by her story and she blogged about it:
Wow!!! As you can see by watching this episode things have changed. I planned a breakfast with Nene, Cori, and Sheree so we can catch up and spend time together. Nene, Cori, and I were at the Intercontinental when I found out Sheree was so sick. I felt terrible for her — she doesn’t have a husband that can take care of her so I figured I would bring her some medicine. It was great to see her. I couldn’t believe how sick she was and how GREAT she looked.
Sheree and I met through NeNe a couple years ago and we are just now beginning to get to know each other. I really like Sheree. We are both divorced and our children are close in age, as well as we are both chasing our dreams. The more time I spend with her the more I like her.
Since Sheree couldn’t attend the breakfast I planned a spa day at Kai Spa. I invited Sheree, NeNe, and my BFF Cori. I love the spa. I love to take care of my skin. ALTHOUGH all the blogging going on states “I can’t possibly be 29” I am actually 30 years old now.
You know it took her hours to write that last sentence. When she hit the “3” on her keyboard, it kept coming up as “4.” She couldn’t figure out what was going on. Well, any self-respecting keyboard cannot tell a lie! I can’t wait until next week’s episode where NeNe calls that bitch out on her age! I can always count on NeNe to tell the fucking truth.
Besides the preview for next week’s hopefully hot episode, nothing really happened last night. DeShawn’s big gala was a big bust, because she didn’t sell enough “jooree.” Big Papa bought Kim some ugly ass bracelet you can get at Claire’s. And Kim backstabbed NeNe by palling around with Sheree, who really does remind me of the Lady Chablis from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil! It would make my year if I could watch Sheree to say “I’m the Lady Chablis! Hear me roar!”
UPDATE: Last week, Sandra Rose posted a court document which states that Kim is in fact 30. I just can’t believe this shit. Even if you handed me her birth certificate, I still couldn’t say she’s 30 without busting out laughing. I won’t believe this shit until you build me a time machine and take me back to 1978 to witness her birth!
Thanks Elizabeth, Cisco & Lahoma