Drop everything! Everything needs to be put on hold now. This is major news. Why isn’t CNN covering this? Why hasn’t there been a press conference about this international development? Why can’t we hear the aliens singing this news through the universe?
Anywhocares, Suri Cruise’s bangs were practically dragging on the ground, so it looks like Tommy Girl finally programmed Stepford Katie to take their little doll down to the haircutters. Or maybe Tommy used his safety scissors to give Suri the Ramona Quimby. You know he keeps that book in the shitter. It makes him giggle. He thinks that Ramona is so “NEAT!” And he totally punches the air when he says “NEAT!”
And some of you have pointed out that Suri is running around without a jacket or some shit. It seems like it’s always summertimes in Suri’s world. Well, that’s because it is! Tommy Girl had a special temperature-controlled bubble made just for Suri! He got the blueprint from his main concubine Johnny Travolta. See, that explains why it’s always 80-degrees for Suri!
Here’s Suri, that woman and some creepy bodyguard-type in NYC’s Central Park today.