Heather Mills Is A Dumb Gold Digger

October 23, 2008 / Posted by:

Being a successful gold digger is so much more than just stealing a mountain of cash from a sugar daddy and spending it on platinum dildos and diamond clitty rings. Once you have that money, you have to put together some kind of business plan to keep that cash working for you for years to come. All whores have to be smart about their cash. I watch “Cathouse” on HBO. All these hookers have “plans” or something. Unfortunately, Heather Mills is not one of those smart whores.

The Sun reports that Heather has already burned through $20 million of her $50 million divorce settlement in just seven months. What has she actually been buying? Heather has spent most of her cash on her homes of sin. She reportedly had a $2 million pool put into her England home. She bought a $5 million apartment in NYC and spent around $12 million in renovating her other joints. Heather also paid her staff members around $500,000. Recently, she donated $1 million in vegetarian food to a group of kids in the Bronx. Yes, because kids really love tofu dogs and bird seed patties.

Some source said, “Heather’s been moaning her money isn’t going as far as she thought, but she’s just burning her way through it. She reckons she has spent £10million since the divorce and still doesn’t have a finished house to live in. She hasn’t changed. In her eyes the whole world is against her.

Oh Heather, your eyes aren’t lying to you, but you have to be a smart whore. Looks don’t last forever….or in your case…..your wooden leg isn’t going to stay fresh for eternity. You have to depend on yourself, because there’s probably not a rich man on this planet who will get near you without at least a dozen lawyers surrounding him. Learn to be a frugal slut. And if you really need money that bad, then you can always leak a sex tape. Hey, some bitches are into that sort of shit!

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