George Hamilton Has Lost His Mind

October 18, 2008 / Posted by:

The world’s only living sun-dried tomato George Hamilton is out pimping his new memoir “Don’t Mind If I Do“and he confessed to the cackling hens of “The View” that he fucked his 28-year-old stepmother when he was just 12. There’s no reason to get upset about it. George says he was willing and it wasn’t wrong. That makes it okay!

George said, “When I was 12 I had a relationship with my stepmother. She was about 28, 30. My father never knew about it. It was very normal. She didn’t make me feel bad about it. It wasn’t dirty.” He went on to say, “I don’t think it warped me in my life. It went on for a short time and then, strangely enough, when I was an actor in Hollywood I met her again, she was as beautiful, and we had a sort of follow-up.”

It all started when George’s father was away and he was laying down in the living room of their apartment. His stepmother June Howard came in wearing a peignoir and laid down next to him. This fucked up bitch then told George she wanted to “cuddle” and this led to them doing illegal sexy times. George said, “What followed was as natural as the birds and bees neither of my parents had gotten around to telling me about.” Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?!

During George’s lovely story, Joy Behar uncomfortably smiled and then let him know that he was molested. George flashed those Chiclets of his and laughed it off, saying, “Was I molested? Damn, I’m down for it again. But the bottom line is it didn’t feel abnormal.

Molestation is fun according to George Hamilton! Ugh. I’m guessing that the reason George is so nonchalant about this fuckery has to do with the fact that his brains are probably like pieces of charbroiled bacon fat. It’s okay, George. Just go lay down in the sun some more. I’ll send someone around every hour on the hour to stick a meat thermometer in you to make sure you haven’t completely roasted.

Below is Georgie making all those bitches uncomfortable on “The View.” Skip to the 2-minute mark for the awkwardness and laughs.

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