Officer, Please Move That Light!

That police officer needs to move that fucking light. Rude! I can’t really tell if he’s a hot piece or not. He should turn that flashlight around and point it at his mug, so we can get a good look. He might have a bad case of birds lip but…. Oh! Who Cares!? Sometimes I really need to control myself. Whenever I look at these pap pictures, I immediately scan to see who might be hot. I’m hard up!

Anyalwayshorny, Jenny Aniston shuffled into John Mayer’s house last night to celebrate his 31st birthday. She brought along her baby making kit and her wedding inspiration album “just in case.” Instead of making John blow out the candles on his birfday cake, she made his peen blow a load into a test tube. I don’t think John even noticed.

Earlier in the night, John left a recording studio blocking his face with some sort of electronic equipment. These celebwhores always suck at hiding their faces from the cameras. That’s probably because they don’t want to. They just want to make it look like they’re camera shy. If they really wanted to hide their smug mugs, they would use something better. I don’t know….like a plastic bag? Breath in…