Great, Blame The Horse

October 17, 2008 / Posted by:

It was the horsey’s fault!!! The collapse of Vadge’s marriage has been blamed on one of Heidi Montag’s relatives. Sort of. A friend of Vadge’s tells The Sun that her marriage started to turn into diarrhea after she fell off of a horse in 2005. Vadge broke bones and shit, but Guy didn’t seem to care.

Vadge was put in the hospital and said it was one of the most painful experiences of her life. Even more painful than “Shanghai Surprise“? Damn. The experience was extra shitty because her husband didn’t show her any kind of compassion.

Vadge’s friend said, “Madonna was in a huge amount of pain and expected Guy to drop everything to be at her bedside. In her mind that is what every husband should do to support his wife when she has been through a traumatic, possibly life-threatening, experience. But Guy approached the whole thing in what she now calls, ‘A very British way’. Instead of smothering her with sympathy he said, ‘Come on darling, you’re a tough bird. You’ll be back on the horse in no time’. Guy’s approach was that a few broken bones is no big deal – and that there was no point in making a drama out of a crisis. But in Madonna’s mind, she could have been killed, and she wanted the full works and to be lavished with love and attention.”

Vadge told friends that Guy must not be her soulmate. She also vowed to never date British dudes again because they are “emotionally-stunted.” This coming from a bitch who probably can’t even produce tears.

This whole story sounds a little weird to me. I would think Vadge would be the complete opposite. I see her as the type who wants to be left alone when they’re sick. I’m like that when I’m ill. When people try and take care of me, I snot on their hands or tell them to go play on the freeway. I want to wallow in my own grossness by myself.

Guy probably didn’t give a horse’s taint, because he planned that shit himself! He gave that horse an extra carrot to throw her off. Well, the joke was on Guy. Vadge can never be thrown off her high horse. Never.

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